Living in the question

'. . . the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.' RAINER MARIA RILKE Letters to a Young Poet

Thursday, 25 August 2011

The words I want to write . . .

Having been at summer school all week there has been a plethera of words, everywhere we turn there are words, words and more words.  Always thought provoking, always stimulating but always too many to absorb so maybe it was me being perverse that made me choose to go to Nancy's writing workshop this afternoon - as if my brain hadn't already had a surfeit of words.

Writing remains a challenge, unless of course it is for a sermon, but creative stuff still scares me in spite of all the groups I go to and all the times I sit down and try to conquer my fears.  I know they are irrational and that there are words inside me wanting to come out.  Nancy spoke to us about metaphor and simile and then told us to go away and write - so that is what I tried to do and eventually this is what came out.

The words I want to write . . .                                  

The words I want to write are yours,
sounding better to my ear
than words that drip from my pen.
I find the voice in my heart
is evading me once again.

It happens all the time.
the pen hovers above the page
the mind is blank,
Yet. . .
something inside aches to get out.

The body, it too speaks lies.
I am a different me,
not the one you see
or that gazes from inside the looking glass.
Would that it reflected the inside me.

Writing now,
I shut my eyes and
breathe in,
deep and slow.
There are no pictures 
just an eternal darkness.
No stars,
pinpricks of light,
to pierce the gloom.
They are trapped,
trapped deep inside;
wanting to escape
not quite knowing how. . .

Once more the pen hovers . . . 
still . . .
I breathe again . . .
Pen,                 poised,            above the page,
in ready expectation.

There is nothing . . .
No thing at all . . .

The words I want to write are yours
You – the one with the voice.

(of course the voice is mine!!)

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